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I am now Known as the Office Walrus

December 16th 2009 21:00


I like to grunt. So does my sister. Grunting is a family tradition. It started with my old man. He would grunt whenever he wanted to rant and rave about something. My sister and I started mimicking him, causing us to make this grunting sound that makes us sound like we are constipated.

My colleague has heard my grunts. He says I sound like a walrus. In fact, each time I grunt he does a David Attenborough impersonation. He will say something like, “And the walrus cannot find a mate. That’s why she grunts.” Or, “Here comes the walrus.” Each time he does this he has me in stitches.


I claim when I grunt I am channelling James Brown and old Star Glasses AKA Bootsy Collins.

“They don’t grunt like you do,” says my colleague.

“Walruses don’t really grunt do they?” I asked.

“No, but they do make a funny sound.”

I did a Google. I found the below clip and asked my colleague. Yep, he said that’s what I sound like:




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