“It’s Only a Cat.”
August 6th 2008 21:00
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I have come across these words in many pet bereavement books when they talk about how unhelpful people can be when one is mourning the loss of a pet but I was amazed to actually hear my friends say this to me when my friend’s cat went missing. 
Photo by Jottka. Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.
I’m the sort of person who chooses friends carefully. Having Aspergic tendencies means I don’t particularly enjoy socialising to begin with and someone would have to be pretty special for me to want to be friends with them. I have many acquaintances but those few friends I have tend to be honest, loyal, sensitive, dependable and intelligent. They also tend to be on my level.
So you can understand why I was amazed to hear them come out with, “It’s only a cat.” I thought my friends would have more sensitivity and maturity to resort to such a heartless phrase. It also made me realise how devalued cats are in our society. You seldom hear people saying the same thing about a dog. In fact, you seldom come across any dog haters. In contrast to this, cat haters are abundant.
People say dogs are more loyal because they come when they are called, they like to follow you around, they can guard your home and so on. But I find cats can also be just as loyal in their own way. When I am upset, I like to press my face against my neighbour’s cats’ fur. Just doing that and hearing them purr is something I find very comforting. It’s like they are telling me everything’s going to be alright. Same with my friend Brett’s cats. Whenever I visit his place, his cats come up and purr and rub their faces against me. I feel so loved.
Have you come across such heartless reactions when people discover you’ve lost a pet? What did you say to them?
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Comment by Natalie 2
Beta Girl Blog
Unfortunately, he came down with an illness that caused him to have kidney failure. We had surgery performed on him to try to save his little life, but in the end, he passed away.
I was so devastated by the loss that I took a couple days off from work. When I finally returned, I tried to keep my mind off of it, but at one point, I just broke down crying at my desk. Everyone treated me as if I was overreacting, and I heard many whispers of "What's her problem? It was only a cat."
I was so angry to hear that! He wasn't just a cat. He was our family member, our friend, our surrogate child, of sorts. He had personality and brought us so much joy. People who have never known the joy of living with a cat will never understand the bond. I do.
Comment by Sara Dobson
Love Mate
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I think it is special. I have my own cat now and one for my daughter
Comment by Ahmed
techy.Bytes
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Comment by Cheryl J
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Zentertainment
I don't trust people who don't like cats.
I took a day off work when I buried one of mine and some people at work were appalled that I would take a leave of absence 'just for a cat' until my general manager came and gave me a hug and told me he was sorry for my loss. He obviously had one himself.
I'm glad you find cat loving with Brett's pussa. I get mine from my friend Dave's pusscat Lily and I love her to bits.
Comment by Cheryl J
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Comment by Mountain Fog
Infognito
Cats, of course, are also of the killer instinct type. This may go some way as to explain people's general disregard for the species, however, they were also worshipped in ancient Egypt!
I think anyone who hates cats, or dogs, as devoid of a certain level of empathy, that may indicate a rather disturbing psychopathology!
I love cats, even though I am allergic to them, and long may they rein upon Earth and in our households, but not roam free at night!!
Did you know, the average pussy can roam up to 11 kilometers from its home in a night!! I won't tell you the average kills they notch up per year...
cheers
fog
Comment by S.L.
The Political Brief
Comment by Queenie
Quirky Folk
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Comment by GlenB
Raw Fish
They don't understand. If your brother died you could theoretically have another one but you would stll grieve the loss.
Less than a year later when I mentioned my deceased son to my cousin she said ; 'Are you still on about that? Get over it!' How's that for lack of empathy/
if one of my employees lost their cat I would be sympathetic, but I would not expect them to take time off .I certainly would not pay them berevement or sick leave.
Comment by Queenie
Quirky Folk
Quirky Queenie
I am sorry to hear about your loss. Your story reminds me of stories I've heard where a woman has just had a miscarriage and people say the same thing.
When I lost my grandma someone told me 'Grandmothers die all the time.' That's not the point. The point was I lost someone I loved and who could never be replaced.
Death is very much still a taboo subject in our society and I think a lot of people do not know how to deal with other people's grief.
Comment by Anonymous
As for cats, I had my cat for 21 years and she died when I was away backpacking - I was in a net cafe in Athens when I got the email from my brother, and I broke down and cried on the spot - she'd been there with me since I was seven years old. I've now got a boyfriend with a cat and when I was sobbing my eyes out the other night (pregnancy hormones!) she started to cry too, and then jumped up on me and started to console me. It doesn't matter whether you've lost your pet (dog, cat, or hamster) or your relative - grief still deserves to be acknowledged and permitted.
Comment by Mr Nice Guy
Pop Culturist
It's only a dog!
It's only a life!
In the eyes of some, apparently life and the joy that life brings to others is cheap.
To cite an old English Master's favourite line:
Stay well
Comment by Queenie
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Comment by AmyHuang
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Queenie - I know how you feel. I love both cats and dogs and they have their different qualities. However, there are certain personalities that dogs and cat have and different people react differently to them. See - the people who love dogs ONLY and hate cats probably likes to be the dominant role in relationships and dogs are - servants. People who love cats likes to share and take care of the little prince and princesses and don't mind being bossed around by a 'cat' as cats HAVE servants.
So it's just like human relationships really! However 'It's just a cat' really is a cruel thing to say!
Comment by Queenie
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Comment by Kleonaptra
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Comment by GlenB
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