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The Joys of Grunting

December 17th 2009 21:00

Shao and U.S.Fish & Wildlife Service. Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.


My colleague has decided to join the grunting club. What happened was yesterday he heard me grunting and he grunted back.

“What are you doing?” I asked.


“Trying to communicate,” he said.

Now, when I grunt, he grunts.

“Morse code for the walrus,” he said in his David Attenborough voice. Grunt, grunt, grunt, grunt.

After hearing countless stories about my old man’s love of grunting as a form of communication, I was telling him about a man I once knew who used to make loud animal noises in his office. One of his staff heard him and said, “Did that just come from this office?”

So after I told my colleague this story, he said, “Papa, where are you?”

Several grunts later, he said, “Now I know what this is. It’s a mobile phone on vibrating mode.” Grunt, grunt, grunt. “Quick! Answer it!”

Grunt, grunt, grunt.

“There goes my mobile,” he said.

“Let’s make a code: one grunt for no, two grunts for yes.”

“I think you are bringing the human race down, you walrus/whale/baboon person.”
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