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Darwin Award Recipient

August 21st 2014 21:00


OMG. On my first day to work at a new job I stopped by Martin Place station – which tends to be quieter than Wynyard – to get a train timetable. But as usual whenever I have to get something done quickly there was another stupid talking primate in front of me in the queue with a complicated request.

“And how do I catch the train to Chatswood?”, “How do I change trains?”, “Which platform do I get onto at Town Hall?”, “How do I insert the ticket into the ticket barrier?” were some of her many stupid questions. Oh and “Do they tell you what the next stop is?”, “How long does it take to get to Chatswood?”


Patience I told myself but I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. I also notice a queue started to form behind me.

“Can I have a handwritten receipt?” she now asked. Oh my God, is this going to take forever?

Finally it was my turn. It only took me ten seconds. “Stupid retard,” I said aloud in annoyance before realising she was standing nearby. Oh well, serves her right for being a cretin.
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The Nice way of Getting rid of People

August 20th 2014 21:00
Photo by Caronna. Used in accordance with the terms of Wikimedia Commons’ GNU Free Documentation License, Version 1.2 or any later version published by the Free Software Foundation; with no Invariant Sections, no Front-Cover Texts, and no Back-Cover Texts.



The day before I encountered those three people asking me questions about the trains before and while I was on the train I was on my way to the bank when a woman from a charity said hello before trying to initiate a conversation with me.

I told her the truth: "I'm sorry, I can't help you as I'm unemployed." She gave up straight away. Hmmm, I thought, I should try this technique more often.


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Do I Look Like I Work for City Rail?

August 19th 2014 21:00


Photo by Caronna. Used in accordance with the terms of Wikimedia Commons’ GNU Free Documentation License, Version 1.2 or any later version published by the Free Software Foundation; with no Invariant Sections, no Front-Cover Texts, and no Back-Cover Texts.


God people are stupid. I was waiting on the platform for the Parramatta train and reading a book as usual when this woman tapped me on the shoulder and said "Excuse me."

Startled, I let out a yelp and looked at her. She didn't say anything else so I walked off, muttering "Of all the people to ask you have to ask the person who's reading a book."

When I told Fred he said "She would pick you as it means you are the only person who can read."

I then hopped on the train but not before flipping the bird at the woman. I took a nap. I had just woken up a few stations before Parramatta when this woman poked me in the arm and said "Parramatta? Parramatta?"

"No!" I snapped before changing carriages.

On the return trip I tried to take another nap. I must have had a sign on my forehead saying I was an information desk as another person asked me what the next station was.

I said I didn't know and went back to napping.

"Don't these idiots realise they are interrupting my nap?" I ranted to Fred. "Couldn't they ask someone else? Did they not notice the train had an LCD display that would tell you what the next station was? Did they not hear the train driver announcing each stop? Do I look like I work for City Rail?"

"Excuse me," said a woman before she passed us.

"See what I mean?" I ranted again, feeling like a Rottweiler. "I can't go anywhere without being pestered by someone."


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Fred Doesn't get it

August 18th 2014 21:00
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Why Don't you buy the Paper?

August 17th 2014 21:00


I cannot believe this. Fred, of all people, asked me why I didn't just buy the paper after I asked him to keep an eye out for a photo similar to this one HERE in the Daily Telegraph.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Now, This is my Kind of van...

August 14th 2014 21:00
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Hello TT

August 13th 2014 21:00
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Creative ways to Making Ends Meet

August 12th 2014 21:03

During a recent stint of being in between jobs and having to abandon my water fountain raids I had to find other ways of making ends meet.

[ Click here to read more ]
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More Beauty

August 11th 2014 21:00
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3D Glasses cat Card

August 10th 2014 21:00
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