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The Name Game

May 19th 2013 21:00


Several months ago a friend suggested I start using my Chinese name instead of my Anglais one. I said no way. Ditto Andrea. Her Chinese name is Chien-Ling which makes her sound like a panda. In fact, that was how she got Panda as a nickname.

“What is your Chinese name?” asked one of my colleagues.

“Eagle. No joke. My old man’s name is Calf. In fact, Grandma used to tell me never to call him Calf to his face as he hated that name. Then he goes and gives me a stupid name. Who names their kids after eagles, anyway? Couldn’t they have chosen another animal…like cat?”


My colleague groaned. She’s another one of those people who prefers dogs to cats.
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Flatmate

May 16th 2013 21:00


Now a spider has moved in with me. Remembering my vow not to kill anymore sentient beings, I tried to push it outside which only resulted in it racing off towards my Borders bookcase.

While I have larvaephobia, I don’t mind spiders. Since it wants me to share my living quarters with it, I may as well let it stay. I just hope it’s not a venomous one.
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The Maggot and the Caterpillars

May 15th 2013 21:00
Photo by Tarquin. Used in accordance with the terms of Wikimedia Commons’ GNU Free Documentation License, Version 1.2 or any later version published by the Free Software Foundation; with no Invariant Sections, no Front-Cover Texts, and no Back-Cover Texts.


In what must have been the worst week of the year after discovering Maxwell and Co no longer like me, I came home to find a large mouldy looking patch on one of my door frames. When I took a closer look I realised it was a cluster of newly hatched caterpillars. There must have been a hundred of them. Forgetting my vow to stop killing insects, I grabbed a tissue and squashed them before throwing the tissue into the toilet and flushing away.

To top that, the next day I was munching on my cereal when I happened to notice a sandy coloured maggot in there. I threw the rest of the cereal in the bin. Things can only get better from here. Because it happened at work, I couldn’t scream. Actually, I’m surprised I didn’t scream when I found the baby caterpillars either. It reminded me of the time Andrea told me she was forced to overcome her caterpillarphobia: “Once you have kids you just have to deal with the caterpillars that are inside your home yourself and kill them. I don’t want them near my kids.”
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Dognapped

May 14th 2013 21:00


What’s with this sudden run of bad luck? A few weeks before my friend’s irate rant on Facebook, she had another rant on Facebook. “Thank you to the person who stole my dog,” she wrote. “I hope you get what you deserve.” This was followed by a choice swear word.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Grey One’s Moving

May 13th 2013 21:00
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Facebook Rage

May 12th 2013 21:00
Photo courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.


Remember Maxwell? The muso catlover who sent me a Facebook friends request? I finally caught up with him in the flesh three weeks ago. I finally worked up the courage to ask him why he sent me a friends request in the first place, since I hardly knew him. “It’s because you’re friends with Brett,” he said.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Musical cat Card

May 8th 2013 21:00
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Cat Breath

May 7th 2013 21:00
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My First Reprimand

May 6th 2013 21:00


I’ve finally made it into the freegan club with my first reprimand from the same corner shop where the guy yelled at me for taking two copies of a free community newspaper.

[ Click here to read more ]
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