Following from my previous post, I really am not in the mood for any more passive aggressiveness. I feel like I am ready to explode at any moment, particularly when the person who set me off yesterday is near me right now.
"You're actively aggressive," Edmund my psychologist friend said to me several years ago.
Even Brett had told me he found me rude, abrasive, angry but also straight to the point and honest. The flipside of this was I also found Brett passive aggressive but at least he doesn't make innuendos.
"Will you just get to the point?" I once said to a colleague at a previous job when she was reprimanding me about something but she was waffling on. I didn't have time to hear the whole background story or to listen to hints; all I needed to know was what I did wrong and how I could fix it. "Just like a bloke," said Fred.
I also don't have time for people who drop their friends the moment they start dating, particularly when they say they are a feminist.
"I can't think of anything worse than having a friend who has always been critical of women who have given up their power to men and then goes along and drops me now that she's found someone," I whined to Fred. "I have another friend who is traditional so I don't agree with her views but what I like about her is she's consistent. She doesn't pretend to be a feminist and then act anti-feminist." The other thing that made me snipey towards her was how she used to complain about people who would criticise others by sending emails or text messages instead of doing it face to face and yet she sent me an email criticising something innocuous I put on Facebook. I then put her on a restricted list.
"She said I put photos of her friend's personal belongings on Facebook which was an invasion of her privacy and a security issue since she had been robbed before," I explained to Fred. "I can accept the first point but the photos didn't say where they were taken and there were several people in the photos so how am I compromising her friend's security?"
"I was about to say that," said Fred.
"Not only that, this is a person who once left her credit card in a shop and failed to cancel it even though I asked her to. I once told her she was a sitting duck for credit card fraud - which later happened - so who is she to talk to me about personal security?" This last point particularly irked me as I work in fraud prevention.
I hate passive aggressive people. You know, the type who will make innuendos or drop hints instead of just saying what the problem is. For God’s sake, I don’t have time to listen to this.
“If you have something to say, just f*cken say it, you stupid c*nt,” I ranted to a friend one day when Fred wasn’t talking to me after we had a heated discussion. The C bomb was no accident; I’ve noticed it tends to be women who employ this tactic, something that Edmund the psychologist confirmed was true: “Women have been disempowered for so long that instead of saying they want to punch you like a man would, they express aggression by making snide remarks, innuendos, spreading rumours etc.” Of course, this is only a rough generalisation - just look at me.
It’s a shame Fred and I had that heated discussion as would have been interested to see what he would have thought about it. We also had a nice walk together including Fred’s comments about how stupid people were while he was on bin duty. What sparked it was him finding a soft drink in the recycling paper bin. Fred then started talking about how he hated people who sat next to him on the train. (“I pick empty carriages so I can sit on my own so why the hell would you want to sit next to me?” he asked.) Just as I hate people who want to listen to loud music next to me on the train. “My train line isn’t popular which means there are always empty carriages,” I explained to Fred. “So I hate it when someone gets on the train and sits next to me, especially when they’re listening to music.”
I then asked Fred about what his thoughts were regarding a cyclist that had been killed on a busy road. “Good,” he said.
“One less to deal with,” I said agreed. “On the way to meeting you I was about to cross the road when this cyclist whizzed past. It was dark, she had no lamps or reflectors on and she didn’t ring the bell. Nor did she wear a helmet. I said under my breath ‘Die, cyclist, die.’ Just as I can’t stand people who listen to Ipods at full blast or those who read text messages while they walk. The media keeps saying they can go deaf or get run over. Well, let them.”
Cat p*ss. It stinks. Once it gets into your clothes or floorboards it is very difficult to get rid of the smell. And once a cat has found a p*ssing station it will keep p*ssing there until you do something about it.